(Unconscious bias and spirituality)
It’s no secret that this year has been one of the most challenging years in modern history. We had to stay home and learn more about ourselves.
One of things that we had to learn was how deeply rooted racism is in our society.
And that’s a good thing. Some people were already aware of that, whereas for others, this was new information.
Though, the awareness of that, alone, is the necessary first step that we needed for real change to happen, the guilt that most of us felt, distracted us from really facing and addressing the issue in order to find long term solution.
You see- We’re all racist, and admitting that to ourself is a really difficult thing to do.
That’s where mindfulness/spirituality comes in.
Through mindfulness practice and spirituality, you become aware of all of your consciousnesses and that means becoming aware of your flaws.
In modern society, this is perhaps the hardest thing to do because it requires us to stop and to look inward.
We’ve inherited- through evolution- a very busy and scared mind. What was supposed to help us to run away from danger now helps us run away from realities.
The need to seem perfect overtook the basic quality of honesty – the honesty necessary to be true to ourselves and to others, in order to have real meaningful connections.
Being perfect (and by inference being dishonest) is exhausting; I learned that the hard way. The good news is that once you lose the need to be perfect/dishonest and discover honesty, tension is released.
And that requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability in modern society is looked at as weakness. But that’s not quite right. To be vulnerable is to be honest, open, courageous and brave.
Vulnerability means going to these places, confront these feelings and take a really close look at our experience and those part of ourselves that, to protect ourselves, we don’t want to go to or see.
Don’t get me wrong, vulnerability makes you feel unprotected (again, evolutionary thing) but it’s better than insincere.
We have to be able to be ourselves, the good and the bad. And it’s only from that place that true change emerges. We have to be open to face and share things that aren’t easy to share: our fears, our challenges, shadows. And we all have them.
When I was younger, in my teenage years, because of the environment that I grew up in, I didn’t quite understand what it is like to be gay. I still don’t to certain extent being a cis gender heterosexual male. But I had some biases against gays and though I didn’t believe them, it was in everything that I perceived. It was in the songs that I listened to, in the movies that I watched, in how my parents talked.
It took one of my friends from high school to come out to me(and only me) for me to stop and to question the heteronormativity of society.
Some of my friends had similar experiences with racism.
My point is we all have biases. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, how you look like and how open minded you are.
And the truth is, it’s not our fault. It’s been bequeathed to us by evolution.
The problem, though, is that, we take it so personally that we forget that they are called: unconscious biases, for a reason.
You’re not a bad person for having thoughts that are the most embarrassing to you. You’re just human.
There’s a good quote on that that I like:
“You’re not thinking your thoughts, you’re thinking your environment’s”
We take our thoughts so seriously like we could’ve invented them.
Our society is very racist , so are our thoughts, and people are becoming aware of that.
So let’s keep marching, let’s keep protesting. Let’s keep electing people who look like us to represent us and by all means let’s share our wealth with minorities but for true equality to happen, we all need to go inward and face our biases.
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